Poetic? Maybe. Have any idea what that script is about? No. It’s not an effective logline.

Here’s what the previous tagline might look like as a logline:

“When an atheist scientist’s fiancé is murdered he teams up with The Pope as the two travel through the centuries in a time machine searching for the escaped ex-cult leader turned assassin who may or may not be the antichrist.”

Okay, this probably wouldn’t make a good movie but the point is you definitely know a little bit about the general plot of the script. The external conflict is clear, i.e. the revenge-seeking scientist vs. the assassin.

Further external conflict is implied, i.e. the scientist vs. the likely vagaries implied with time travel. And internal conflict (within the main character himself) is implied by forcing an atheist to cooperate with a Pope in a goal that might have religious implications. It's in direct contrast to the atheist's personal beliefs and those will likely be challenged in such an escapade.

ACTION WORDS AND ADJECTIVES:

Action words make a logline sound more dynamic. Likewise, robust adjectives give a better sense of the tone or mood and give the characters some texture. Adding these might make the logline look like this (underlines for instructional purposes only):

“When a rogue scientist and die-hard atheist’s fiancé is brutally murdered he teams up with a guilt-ridden Pope as the two scour the centuries in a time machine racing to find the escaped, cunning ex-cult leader turned-assassin who may or may not be the antichrist.”

In the above example, “scour” is more dynamic and interesting than “look” or “search”. “Race” is better than “go”. Replace such bland and general verbs with action verbs when possible.

CHARACTER NAMES:

Sometimes you'll see loglines written with a character's names in all CAPS like this...“When a rogue scientist and die-hard atheist’s fiancé is brutally murdered, DR. JAKE teams up with..."

Including character names not only is unnecessary but is irrelevant and can be distracting. Leave them out unless the character's name is necessary to understand a major script component, such as if it's a well known figure like Albert Einstein or Edgar Allen Poe. CAPPED character names are more appropriate for loglines that appear in the coverage written by a reader for the producer or studio and their purpose is to create familiarity with names that will appear in the longer story summary that appears in that coverage.

**Still need a nudge? Here are some questions to get you started in the right direction:

1. What exactly is at stake for the main character, either at the outset of the story, or as a result of something (usually the 'inciting incident') that occurs during the story?

2. Is there some character growth that's lacking in the main character at the outset of the story but that occurs (or FAILS to occur) by the story's end?

3. Is there another character with whom the main character has a significant relationship? If so, what is its nature? If it's mostly cooperative but with a single source of conflict between the protagonist and the other character, what is that source? If instead, it's totally contentious but they're forced to work together, why? Does their relationship change somehow as a result of the story?

4. Is there a main antagonist in the story and if so, what's the nature of the protagonist's relationship to him/her?

REPLIES:

Most recipients of your query won't respond.Based on the volume of queries a development exec or rep receives, it's just not practical to send a return email to say "no thanks". If you do receive them, it's rare so consider it an extra courtesy.

Most replies are to give permission to send the script or to request additional information such as a synopsis. Well written and informative loglines will cut down on the number of synopses you will need to send before getting permission to submit your script. But some execs will seek that additional information anyway no matter how good the logline.

Do not include any kind of date on your script since the older a script is, the less value it has in the eyes of the recipient. It tells them it's been out there for a while and nobody else has snatched it up. Possibly because it's terrible.

You don't need to include a WGA number or US Copyright number on your script. If you do, many larger volume agencies or studios will use it as an identifying number for your script, kind of like your social security number gets used today.

Should you ever try to resubmit that script, even if you've changed the title, they may not ever read it again, instead just looking up their records to see what they wrote about it last time. Remember, reading your script costs them money and if it can be avoided, it will be avoided.

Don't include artwork or photos. That is the mark of a non-professional and it's considered silly.

Likewise including a CD with a soundtrack or a list of actors you would cast in the roles. Do these and you risk the garbage can.

Double sided copies are acceptable and very common for scripts sent out by the larger agencies to producers and studios. It also saves you money on postage since the script will be half as thick as a single sided copy.

It's recommended that if using brass brads, use washers to hold them in place. Many short or thin brads don't hold up well in the mail and will have come loose by the time it arrives. They may also come out when the script is folded open during the read. Washers also hold the ends in place and prevent sharp edges from injuring the people you want to work with.

WHAT ELSE TO INCLUDE:

Consider including a print out of the email request with your script or a note reminding them that they've done so. Also writing "requested material" on the envelope or script cover is not a bad idea to distinguish it from what may be a large volume of unsolicited scripts that get tossed.

If you're inclined to send your script via overnight simply to make it stand out, save your money. Unless it's a very small company, the person receiving the incoming mail is not the same person who will look at your script. That reader will only see it after it's been opened and removed from the envelope anyway.

However, DO use a sturdy mailing envelope. A regular manila envelope often tears along the seams when in the mail and falls apart. The cardboard envelopes used for U.S. "Priority Mail" are excellent for script submissions, are sturdy, snug, and Priority Mail is really just first class US. mail anyway ($3.85) so it's not really an additional expense. And maybe best of all, the envelopes are FREE.

RELEASE FORMS:

The company requesting your script may require a release form in which case they may include it in their email to you, or direct you to their web page to access one. Or instead, they may simply ask that you include your own "standard release" form with your script. This is because release forms are pretty much all the same (or should be) and they know the one you find on your own will suffice.

A standard release form can be accessed by clicking here. You may print it, and then fill in the blanks, or copy and paste the text into your own word software program.

If you are asked to sign a release, just do it. Don't worry about the onerous language that makes it sound as if they can steal your script with impunity. They're not interested in doing that (it's cheaper to just purchase your script and rewrite it compared to the potential legal fees), and they know they can't even if they wanted to.

You still have copyright protection. Release forms sound scary to prevent frivolous lawsuits from wannabes looking for flimsy excuses to file a legal claim and hoping for a quick pay-off in the form of a financial settlement. (Just because you submitted a script with two buddy cops DOES NOT mean that Lethal Weapon was a rip off of your script.)

A release form is called such because it theoretically releases the producer or studio from liability (again, there are limits no matter what the agreement says). Therefore the form should do NOTHING MORE. Quickly skim the release form. If it seeks to do anything more than this, such as give the recipient a financial interest in your script, or an exclusive, or a free option to your material, then DON'T sign it and don't bother submitting to such a company. A reputable company would never include such language in a release form so it's not likely you'll ever come across that situation.

RETURN OF YOUR SCRIPT:

Don't expect your script to be returned. Some requesters will instruct you to include a SASE (self addressed stamped envelope) if you do desire your script returned to you. We recommend against it. It's one more burden you're placing on the recipient, and it can make you look stingy.

A script copy costs anywhere from $3-$5 depending on the copy deal you get. Just consider that script copy the cost of doing business. You're not going to save very much anyway when you consider the cost of the return postage ($2-$4). Plus, you still may not get it back anyway. It's not unheard of for a larger company to honestly misplace your SASE especially since it may be weeks after receiving the script that they finally get around to reading it. And a smaller company just might find your return postage handy for offsetting their own mail costs and keep it.

CONTACT: